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The Pain of Starting Over

Every time I make a change in my business life, which let’s face it, is not very far removed from my personal life, there is at least a little (and sometimes not so little) feeling of pain. And fear. And shame.

Even though each and every one of these changes is a step in the direction of my soul.

It may be business, but for me, it’s ALWAYS personal, because I AM my business. So you see, it’s challenging for me to be detach emotionally.

So if it feels so right, why would there be feelings of fear and shame?

Well let’s look at fear – many of us have a fear of change on some level, usually the fear of the unknown.

For me? This fear is of rejection. That no-one will love the ‘real’ me. But…….. I’ve always been myself, it’s just that now I’m becoming MORE of myself. Coming out of the shadows. No longer just doing what I think others want me to do, but allowing more of my soul to be seen.

The shame – the shame for me belongs to the feeling of failure, that I couldn’t stick it out, that I was doing it wrong, that I’m starting over, yet again. And worst of all, that I’m not good enough.

My business has evolved as just as I am evolving and learning about myself, and of clearing away all of the layers, past and present life. I started my business life as a yoga teacher who very soon after was a yoga studio owner, and even though that was somewhat unexpected, I really thought I’d be doing that forever. But I’ve learned that that is only one aspect of my self.

I am not a yoga teacher, I am not a yoga studio owner, I am not a mother, I am not a wife, I am not a healer, I am not a kinesiologist in training. These titles, are parts of me, they are what I do, but they do not necessarily define me. I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions. I am a soul having a human experience.

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