I’ll be honest. I really haven’t wanted to write this week. I haven’t really wanted to leave the house, or talk to anyone. And mostly, I have, stayed home, spent less time on social media, I haven’t wanted to write, it’s felt necessary.
There was the Full Moon in Gemini last week, and initially I didn’t feel overly affected by it. A little scattered (ok staying focused was next to impossible) but I thought I got away fairly unscathed.
I had my final weekend at Kinesiology school, before my exam. It’s been a huge year, I have learned so much, not only my new kinesiology skills, but about myself.
I’ve made some wonderful new friends too, and even though I will see them again….. a big part of my life for the last 12 months is coming to a close.
I woke up Monday morning with a heaviness. It just would not go away. I was crying, sobbing, on and off all day. It was not just any one thing, it seemed to be tears for all of my selves, and tears for all of humanity. Buckets of tears. We have those days, right? So I allowed. I allowed the tears and I allowed the feelings, even if I couldn’t articulate them. The importance was in the allowing.
It’s now Thursday, and I’m really only just starting to feel (my version of) normal. There has been a LOT of inner reflection. A lot of connecting the dots on why I feel the way I do, a lot of releasing. It has been really important for me to take this time, to not work, to not ‘push through’ but to actually sit with it all, in all of it’s discomfort, and really just BE rather than do.
When was the last time you really allowed you self to just stop, and be in the discomfort, and not push through or ignore your feelings? It can be challenging when you are busy, when you have to work, and look after family. But you know what? A lot of what we have on our to-do list can wait, and I’m going to be bold and say that some of it doesn’t need to be on there at all.
The truth is, the more we try to ignore our feelings, even when we aren’t sure what has brought them on, the longer the discomfort tends to hang around. So give yourself permission – it’s OK to feel, it’s OK to just be.